America Changed Me

         In the perfect Mexican family, woman are known to be amazing daughters, sisters,  granddaughters, and wives, I was born to be me. At the age of fifteen, a Mexican girl is considered a woman. She is to learn how to cook, iron, wash cloths, change diapers, how to sit, what to wear, but most importantly to stay quite. I believe that my parents thought I would someday fit the mold.  The one thing they neglected to think of is what would happen, if I grew up in the United states? It happened, at the age of five my mother brought us to America, that was after the divorce. The day I set foot into our new house I could not completely comprehend what was happening but I certainly knew my life had changed. I grew up learning how to be a proper woman, but in the mist of it all I became outspoken, strong, and independent.

       Growing up as a Mexican girl in America has its challenges. Trying to please your family and learning you have options is tough. As my mother or grandmother would cook, I was forced to sit and learn. All I wanted was to read or go outside and play soccer with the boys, but that was not proper. As time passed, I learned that if I did what I was told and did it fast It would give me time to explore. I began to read, watch the news, and made it on to the honer role.  In the process my brothers would tease me "you're so white washed" they assumed that because I did well I was better than them. My mother, well, she was indifferent, as long as I learned to cook and clean. Instead of letting all the negatives get to me, I made it my fuel. The more comments I heard , the more my mother did not care, the less I wanted to be like them and the stronger I grew.

Don't get me wrong, Its not like cleaning and cooking is a bad thing it just was not all I wanted. And, I'm sure my mother wanted a great future for me ,but sadly she didn't know how to show that she cared. At least this is my theory. now back to the story.

            By becoming stronger I also became outspoken. Seeing the way my mother's boyfriends treated her and talked to her, angered me.There are many qualities that I like about my mother, but letting men degrade her was not one. In this process the fairytale in my head slowly died, and I created my own opinion about life, love and what I wanted.I slowly began to speak out. If something bothered me or I disagreed I would say something, but I did it in a lady way. If one of my mothers boyfriends disrespected her I would stand up for her. In school I became a leader, at home I stated my point of view. This did not go over well in some cases, but I learned to respect others opinions, and that my ideas are not the only ideas.


I'm not a feminist and do not agree that woman can do anything men can. It goes both ways there are many thing both men and woman can not do as well as the other. " There is a time, a place, and the proper moment to speak"-Karla Villa

Building character and breaking out of my shadow, I also learned how to be independent. Unlike my mother, I learned not to depend on anyone. If I wanted something, I earned it. In fourth grade I worked at a laundry-mat and prior to that I would babysit for everyone. I tried to not ever ask for much. When I played sports I found my own way there and back. I walked to school every day. At the age of eighteen after my mother vanished I got an apartment and took care of my brothers. I did not allow many people to try and help. I felt that if I let anyone in I would get weaker. No one could ever say "Because of me you have this or that." If I failed, I picked myself right back up: always have, always will.

I may never be the "Perfect Mexican woman" Now I am the perfect Mexican/American woman and I will continue to learn and grow.