The thought of death
Every day I wake up
I walk into the bathroom as my dog follows me
She sits there looking at me yearning for some love
I talk to her in my half asleep state
I get in the shower and all I think is “just another day”, “a good day”
Today is different, I think of death
As I drive to work, I imagine my car exploding with me in it
Am I sick? Or am I just simply jaded
I do not understand
To my friends I am positive, I love life, to learn and most of to be happy
“I have a fire in me” I say to myself
Could it be loneliness, sadness, or just another pre-menstrual feeling?
Selfish, I say, to think of death
My dysfunctional life made me immune to this feeling, which I have always felt
The feeling of crazy, nonsense, disaster, and discomfort
I begin to think it’s normal
Bouncing up and down, tragedy and resilience
I smile of the thought of death because somehow I am able to let it all out
To write it, think it, and talk about it
I feel it and will not allow it to take the best of me
To think of death
Releasing it was not easy
“Let the bitch go “!!!
She is dead!
