Senor year in High
school was amazing!!! I know that most people hate high school but I actually
had a blast especially senor year. I had turned 18 during senor year. I was in
every club possible and was swimming on top of that I had the best friends I
could have ever made. Every Thursday through Sunday we would go out to parties
and I was dating a boy. That relationship only lasted 6 months but it was
blast. This was the same year that I had
gotten a small scholarship and had gotten in to all the schools I had applied
to. I was on top of the world but with that came many obstacles. It was the
first time in my life that being an immigrant actually faced me face to face. I
had gone through the entire school system and now I could not afford college
because I was not a citizen. To make it more interesting my mother had gone
through her second divorce and I found her in the worst depression I had ever
seen her. I imagine she was doing drugs because she was always locked in her
room and awake all night. She would leave with random people and not come home
for days. I was the head of the family and I took care of my brothers. Then one
day she took my brothers and left them at my grandmother house.
While all of this was
happening one day E showed up at my door. He was a boy I had often thought
about because he was quite peculiar. Except I had never had spent much time
getting to know. I invited him to in
with all my other friends and I made us all dinner. He looked at me and said “if
you feed me I will never leave” and he never did. He became one of my best
friends and eventually we dated. It was the toughest relationship because we
were incredibly compatible except I was faced with growing and taking on
responsibilities that most 18 year old girls do not face. The next four years E stayed by my side and
most people thought we’d get married. Unfortunately, I was not ready for that. There are many components to why not and why
we broke up, mostly my fault. See I have always been good at destroying
relationships. It has always been easier to walk away. The most important
reason is that no one should have to go through my pains because I have
to. E and I broke up in 2006-2007. He deserved better. He needed someone normal,
someone to give him what I could not. It was hard because even after the brake
up, we kept in touch and at times we even slept together. It was hard to let go
of four years.
List of things in
the four years
1. I had a 3.5gpa
2. I was homecoming
queen
3. I got a
scholarship
4. I got into
every school I applied to
5. I began to date
E
6. My mother disappeared
7. I took care of
my brothers
8. I was homeless
9. I was still
dancing Tahitian dancing b/ the Sencil family let us do it no cost
10. I moved in to
my best friend parents’ house
11. I worked illegally
12. I had 3 jobs
13. I took legal guardianship
for my siblings
14. I moved in
with E to our own apartment along with my brother.
15. We got a dog
(Tug)
16. We broke up
Being an older
sister taking a role of a mother was not easy. I had long working hours and no
sleep, always tracking down my brothers. At times they went in and out of
juvenile detention. Making sure they went to school and mediating when they fought.
This story is not
for anyone to feel sorry for me. This story is to tell E that without him I
would not have ever been able to survive that stage in my life. Thank you for
being patient. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for loving my family no
matter the disasters. Thank you for all the rides to Target, all our furniture
building because it was all form Ikea. Thank you for making me laugh and for
creating “heavy Hands”. Thank you for sleeping with me in the car. Thank you
for all that you did. I’m sorry I could not give you more.
I always knew you’d
be happy and I know you found that.
