Once again I find myself at your door
I look into your eyes and once again everything fades away
Once again in your arms, you make me feel like I am fine
Once again you kiss my lips and I start to cry, because I know you are not mine
Once again my heart aches and I remember that day
The day you left me crying at my doorstep
Once again I want to go, but I can't walk away
Once again I ask " please don't lie" but I know that you have
This is the last time I let you drag me there
Once again I will be strong and my heart will beat like a drum
The sound will be strong, once again
Once again, once again
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Friday, October 26, 2012
Two
Holding hands
Walking into the dark
Running through the light
Holding one another
Warm is the skin that inspires
Cold is when we don't understand
Disagree to agree
Agree to disagree
Magnifying our experiences
When there is sadness
When there is truth
Wondering
Feeling the itchiness of freedom
The push and pull
Smiles and tears
Climbing the Great Wall
Crossing the London bridge
Swimming the Pacific sea
We are friends
Walking into the dark
Running through the light
Holding one another
Warm is the skin that inspires
Cold is when we don't understand
Disagree to agree
Agree to disagree
Magnifying our experiences
When there is sadness
When there is truth
Wondering
Feeling the itchiness of freedom
The push and pull
Smiles and tears
Climbing the Great Wall
Crossing the London bridge
Swimming the Pacific sea
We are friends
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Running time
It always seems as though there is so much time and never enough, but it keeps ticking.
One moment we are born and we cry and then smile.
We start crawling and the walking, next we are running.
Dancing we head to school.
Singing, now we are in middle school.
Frighten we walking into high school.
Now we think we know everything and college begins or work, depending on the situation.
Time wakes us up and reminds us that we have so much more to learn.
Tick toc tick toc tick toc
Putting our arms out reaching for what we are missing
People whisper...
Is he married?
She is getting old to have children.
There is no rush on time.
One step at a time, one moment
A pause and then moving forward.
Oh that clock! Oh the time!
Wait, what time is it?
Why not?
Is it strange or flattering when someone stares at you?
I think that there are times when I space out and stare. Often I wonder if people think that I'm staring at
them.
And once in a while maybe I do. I find that there are people that have a strange yet a beautiful look. I know it seems weird, but for some reason that is what attracts me. I seems that I venture toward people with peculiar personalities or looks. It could be that I just connect better or they're more similar to me. Or they are more real. Whatever the reason, yes I stare...
Once in a while the feeling that someone is staring at me seems odd.
The other day, for example, I was falling asleep in class and I woke up because I felt that feeling. Across the room this very attractive boy was staring at me. Quite embarrassing because I think I almost drooled. I thought it was just amusing to him. But then again, another day as I was watching the teacher read out of the book and I was spacing out when I felt it. That boy staring again.
A few days later I was on the second floor with my class. We had gone there to eat pizza and listen to the school band, that I did not know existed. As I'm listening to the band intrigued by the sound of the violin. I begin to sway side to side. I start to think how much I always wanted to learn to play an instrument, really the violin. And all of a sudden there straight across the room I felt dark, dark brown eyes staring at me. This time is not the boy from my stats class, but the boy playing the cello. For a second, I though he could just be concentrating immensely. At the end of the concert I gathered my things and walked toward the door. This boy stops me and with a shaky hand he introduces himself. "Hello, I'm Derek" I shake his hand and confused I say my name.
I know these stories are almost pointless, but how is one suppose to feel or think? Maybe it's hard for me to understand because I just believe that everyone can be friends. Yes, it's almost naive to think that, but why not? Flattering or strange staring happens, I guess...
I think that there are times when I space out and stare. Often I wonder if people think that I'm staring at
them.
And once in a while maybe I do. I find that there are people that have a strange yet a beautiful look. I know it seems weird, but for some reason that is what attracts me. I seems that I venture toward people with peculiar personalities or looks. It could be that I just connect better or they're more similar to me. Or they are more real. Whatever the reason, yes I stare...
Once in a while the feeling that someone is staring at me seems odd.
The other day, for example, I was falling asleep in class and I woke up because I felt that feeling. Across the room this very attractive boy was staring at me. Quite embarrassing because I think I almost drooled. I thought it was just amusing to him. But then again, another day as I was watching the teacher read out of the book and I was spacing out when I felt it. That boy staring again.
A few days later I was on the second floor with my class. We had gone there to eat pizza and listen to the school band, that I did not know existed. As I'm listening to the band intrigued by the sound of the violin. I begin to sway side to side. I start to think how much I always wanted to learn to play an instrument, really the violin. And all of a sudden there straight across the room I felt dark, dark brown eyes staring at me. This time is not the boy from my stats class, but the boy playing the cello. For a second, I though he could just be concentrating immensely. At the end of the concert I gathered my things and walked toward the door. This boy stops me and with a shaky hand he introduces himself. "Hello, I'm Derek" I shake his hand and confused I say my name.
I know these stories are almost pointless, but how is one suppose to feel or think? Maybe it's hard for me to understand because I just believe that everyone can be friends. Yes, it's almost naive to think that, but why not? Flattering or strange staring happens, I guess...
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Work in Progress
At the age of 27 I did not imagine my life the way it is. Maybe I never really imagined what it would be like, to be really honest. I just never in a million light years imagined that I would be living in Connecticut and getting a divorce. It is true, when you are a child you want to believe that everyone around you is not that smart." We know everything, so we think". One thing that I was sure of is that by now I would have gone to college, have my own office or company for that matter. Instead, life had its own plan for me. There are many things that humans can control, like what you will eat tomorrow and where you may go. Then there are things that just happen. Natural unexpected situations that you somehow don't seem to have control over, It's more like your heart won't let you control and you make other choices.
At the age of 18 I had grown up faster then most my age. By that time I already knew how to change diapers, cook, make cloths, feed babies, love, and how to run a household. Not that I have kids, but I kinda did with 3 younger brother. Sure, this may sound like a sad story, but its not. I would never allow it to become another sob story. I chose to take charge of my brothers and that does not make me part of a sad story. Yes, my father was not around and my mother left us. I had to work extra hard and put a hold on many dreams and goals but that is something that I do not regret.
I am 27, and at the age of 21 I married a man whom I thought I would live happily ever after with. Not that he was a horrible man or I was a horrible wife. It's almost hard to explain why I am where I am now, because it all seemed perfect. We had a house, two dogs and jobs but my heart got lost. I fell out of love. I found myself walking in a circle over and over as it snowed, and I could not find my way back. I tried but it was to late. My entire life I wished and hoped that the person I would marry would be the one for my lifetime, as it turn out It was not so. Foolish girl I am.
At 25 living hear in Connecticut all alone for the first time in my life I began to think, just like I always do. I began to dissect everything. I now had time to feel what I had never allowed myself to feel. For the first time I could be mad at those who have hurt me, left me or simply deemed to destroy me. In the same year I had started to build a relationship with a father that I had not seen or spoken to since I was five. All these emotions, for the first time they where not in a drawer neatly stored away. It all took over and I began to run instead of walk. I no longer was sensible and soon I began to fear everything and everyone.
Then one day I met a man. A man whom for some reason, he was like a magnet that i could not run from. he began to try keys to unlock me and even though I fought against it, the key kept turning. I found myself slowly feeling and the falling for him. Now that I'm 27 I do not know if he will be the one for the rest of my lifetime. I do know though that for now it works.
If I am telling this story it is not to justify my actions or to make believers of my story. If I am writing about this is because I'm work in progress. I have slowly learned that you feel things good and bad. You take every moment and you can choose to take what you want out of it. I am not completely over everything but I know that there is a solution to everything.
What will happen tomorrow I do know. What will happen after that not so sure. I know that I am more ready now that I was before. I have a family I love, friends that I love, two dogs that I love, roommates that I love and more.
This year I say cheers to whats in stored for me, because whatever it is can only keep shaping my path. Its my billion piece puzzle. Sometimes I will wedge the wrong piece with the wrong piece. Soon I will discover the correct pieces.
At the age of 18 I had grown up faster then most my age. By that time I already knew how to change diapers, cook, make cloths, feed babies, love, and how to run a household. Not that I have kids, but I kinda did with 3 younger brother. Sure, this may sound like a sad story, but its not. I would never allow it to become another sob story. I chose to take charge of my brothers and that does not make me part of a sad story. Yes, my father was not around and my mother left us. I had to work extra hard and put a hold on many dreams and goals but that is something that I do not regret.
I am 27, and at the age of 21 I married a man whom I thought I would live happily ever after with. Not that he was a horrible man or I was a horrible wife. It's almost hard to explain why I am where I am now, because it all seemed perfect. We had a house, two dogs and jobs but my heart got lost. I fell out of love. I found myself walking in a circle over and over as it snowed, and I could not find my way back. I tried but it was to late. My entire life I wished and hoped that the person I would marry would be the one for my lifetime, as it turn out It was not so. Foolish girl I am.
At 25 living hear in Connecticut all alone for the first time in my life I began to think, just like I always do. I began to dissect everything. I now had time to feel what I had never allowed myself to feel. For the first time I could be mad at those who have hurt me, left me or simply deemed to destroy me. In the same year I had started to build a relationship with a father that I had not seen or spoken to since I was five. All these emotions, for the first time they where not in a drawer neatly stored away. It all took over and I began to run instead of walk. I no longer was sensible and soon I began to fear everything and everyone.
Then one day I met a man. A man whom for some reason, he was like a magnet that i could not run from. he began to try keys to unlock me and even though I fought against it, the key kept turning. I found myself slowly feeling and the falling for him. Now that I'm 27 I do not know if he will be the one for the rest of my lifetime. I do know though that for now it works.
If I am telling this story it is not to justify my actions or to make believers of my story. If I am writing about this is because I'm work in progress. I have slowly learned that you feel things good and bad. You take every moment and you can choose to take what you want out of it. I am not completely over everything but I know that there is a solution to everything.
What will happen tomorrow I do know. What will happen after that not so sure. I know that I am more ready now that I was before. I have a family I love, friends that I love, two dogs that I love, roommates that I love and more.
This year I say cheers to whats in stored for me, because whatever it is can only keep shaping my path. Its my billion piece puzzle. Sometimes I will wedge the wrong piece with the wrong piece. Soon I will discover the correct pieces.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
A Bitter Melody
Sad song
Songs, poems, and letters
To drink wine and fabricate dinner
Swimming in a bath of love
Smelling the sweet smell of happiness
The bliss of a kiss
To walk in the park and feel the warmth of a hug
Laughing at nothing and flying with joy
The thorns slowly fall and blossom in a garden for you
The colors are intense and vivid
Sounds of your voice
A most beautiful melody
My nose no longer cold my hands tied to yours
My heart it pours my voice
My sight is lost and you're the guide
A song comes on
A sad, sad song
And you are gone
Songs, poems, and letters
To drink wine and fabricate dinner
Swimming in a bath of love
Smelling the sweet smell of happiness
The bliss of a kiss
To walk in the park and feel the warmth of a hug
Laughing at nothing and flying with joy
The thorns slowly fall and blossom in a garden for you
The colors are intense and vivid
Sounds of your voice
A most beautiful melody
My nose no longer cold my hands tied to yours
My heart it pours my voice
My sight is lost and you're the guide
A song comes on
A sad, sad song
And you are gone
Thursday, October 4, 2012
I love this song.
Light a roman candle with me
Just a roman candle, you can wear your sandals
and I'll pour you just one cup of tea.
Then you can go and rest
you haven't seen my best, so...
Just spend an evening with me
Just a lazy evening, then you could be leaving
or we could stay and talk until three.
I will think it's magic and I'll hope you'll agree, so...
Light a roman candle with me.
Just a roman candle.
Just a perfect apple.
If we were honest and both wrote a sonnet together
a sandwich with everything on it,
at least we would know that the sparks didn't glow
but we owe it to ourselves to try,
so we aim and ignite!
So often I call and I plead with you:
"Give me a chance!"
It's not often that I understand
the ins and the outs of what's wrong and what's right
So don't think of tomorrow tonight.
Oh, I know, it goes on, it gets old
But for now we're young, we smell good, we're alone...
You look for a legend,
I'm looking for common ground.
Your heart isn't breaking,
and mine isn't making a sound.
Oh I know, it goes on, it gets old
Oh I know, it goes on, it gets old...
Light a roman candle with me.
Just a roman candle.
Just a perfect apple.
By FUN
Just a roman candle, you can wear your sandals
and I'll pour you just one cup of tea.
Then you can go and rest
you haven't seen my best, so...
Just spend an evening with me
Just a lazy evening, then you could be leaving
or we could stay and talk until three.
I will think it's magic and I'll hope you'll agree, so...
Light a roman candle with me.
Just a roman candle.
Just a perfect apple.
If we were honest and both wrote a sonnet together
a sandwich with everything on it,
at least we would know that the sparks didn't glow
but we owe it to ourselves to try,
so we aim and ignite!
So often I call and I plead with you:
"Give me a chance!"
It's not often that I understand
the ins and the outs of what's wrong and what's right
So don't think of tomorrow tonight.
Oh, I know, it goes on, it gets old
But for now we're young, we smell good, we're alone...
You look for a legend,
I'm looking for common ground.
Your heart isn't breaking,
and mine isn't making a sound.
Oh I know, it goes on, it gets old
Oh I know, it goes on, it gets old...
Light a roman candle with me.
Just a roman candle.
Just a perfect apple.
By FUN
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Trust
There are times I don't know who I am. Lately more than ever.
I have to trust myself
I have to trust the world
I have to trust those I love
I have to trust
Take a step back Karla and breath. You are better than what you have been lately. Trust and believe in yourself.
I have to trust myself
I have to trust the world
I have to trust those I love
I have to trust
Take a step back Karla and breath. You are better than what you have been lately. Trust and believe in yourself.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)